heart broken

I cant escape the feeling that I am a disappointment to everyone.
That i did not become the person everyone thought i would be.
But i tried. God knows i tried.
I am happy as how things turn out.
Maybe if i had chosen that career path, i would be richer, more secure, but less happy.
i have found my passion, i had known was my passion, and i am happy.

happy. isnt it what everyone aspire to find.

day 1

weights to lose : 40kg

days left : 205 days

i need to lose 40kg (!) to reach an acceptable bmi.

ive set myself a date to reach that.

30th NOVEMBER 2011.

lets hope i can do it.

insyaAllah.

been a while.

since the last time i post something, lots of things happened in my life.

and im fortunate to say most turned out to be better.

i have a girlfriend now.

someone i loved dearly for nearly half a decade(saje nak make it sound lama giler haha)

has finally decided she loved me too.

its been a happy 8 months 15 days. or or 36 weeks rounded down. or 258 days. bliss.

i am not under any illusion that i am good looking.

im big. fat. obnoxious at times. i do looked good tho, from, erm, certain angles.

im fortunate my gf loves me for who i am.

but i think its time i improved myself.

ive been overweight (fat is just a mean word.haha) for most of my life.

ive decided its time to change that.

here goes nothing.

gum traveling in dreams

i was besieged by a swollen gum the past few days...
it hurts when i sleep,
it hurts while im awake,
it hurts when i eat,
it hurts when i speak....

but im getting used to it...
its only mildly irritating now...

im a fan of the oldies.be it fashion, music, movies...i dress like someone from the 50's, so i've been told..
i hear music from the 50's till today..
movies, ditto.
well, mine is certainly an acquired taste..

i've been listening to Roy Orbison a lot lately...suffice to say im a fan..
which leads to me looking for the supergroup consisting of him,
Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, and Jeff Lynne called...



i cant remember the last time i splash out cash for music...
(hey dont blame me, blame the internet...haha)
but i found the album, bought it...
and.... it's worth every ringgit...

i mean u'd have to expect greatness from that lineup...
but it totally exceeded my already high expectations...
what can i say, im hooked, am a fan...

Let Thy Wilbury done!

Brand New

Let's start anew.

I am going to start blogging more...
Weekly maybe. Perhaps.
The gaps between posts are definitely going to be shorter.

Watch this space...
(as if anybody is actually reading this)

what i left out

been a tiring, exhausting n ultimately disappointing past 2 months.
flying almost everyday. which is a good thing, actually.
need to re-establish sleep pattern. its out of order.
sprained ankle playing futsal. had to make do with PES.
spent money like its running out of fashion. stop buying unnecessary things.
dustier than a treasure cove. need to clean the room.
try to forget. stop bothering her.
eat less. stop saying and actually do it.

no wonder i dont have that much time to update my blog.
need to find time to update blog.

okay. stay. go.

reasons

there are reasons for everything.
every little thing has a reason.
like why i havent updated my blog for quite sometime.
(im a bad blogger i know).
the reason is ive been disconnected from the world,
figuratively of course, not literally.
ive no internet connection.
i could get into the reason why i havnt got internet connection,
but it'll take 2 pages and whoever reading this, if any, wudve fall asleep by then.
suffice to say it involves money and stupidity, not on my part ofcourse. ofcourse.
another reason is im busy preparing for my flight test.
and busy searching for cult movies that i may or may not have seen before.
like 'Big Trouble in Little China' (above pic).
great movie. (do u know that the character Raiden in Mortal Kombat was inspired by a character in this movie?).
ive watched it before, vaguely remembering some scenes. great movie.

anyways,
so here i am typing away in the dark, trying to make up for lost time.
hey, like Jack Burton said,

"I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things"

"When the wind blows and the rain falls.."

Alright!
After the depressingly depressing last entry, (which i wont do again.promise),
its time for something more upbeat.
Luckily i've a story to share, to ears that wants to listen and eyes that wants to read
about it.

Well, the day before yesterday (Wednesday), i went for a solo short navigation.
Which basically means u don't have to land anywhere, just go out and land back where u came from. So as it happens i went up, set my track, and it rains.
Nothing heavy, just a drizzle u might say. so i continued.
Upon reaching my first reporting point, i realized that the door was not properly latched.
But i decided to continue (hoping that the door would remain closed for the rest of the flight).

By the time i reached my third (or was it fourth? im not entirely sure), the clouds have already build up to a gigantic size, dark in color, and im sure the carrier of thunderstorms.
So i diverted. Upon calling the tower to inform about my diversion, it started raining.
Luckily for me, it rains a few miles away from my airplane. i could see the rain, im just not in it.
then the tower instruct me to track straight to the airfield because, in his word, 'very bad weather' is building up towards the east and west side of the airfield.
(oh, and i forget to mention, it was very hazy that day, i think the visibility is just around 7km.)


As i was approaching the airfield, i could see on my left and right(east and west of the airfield, respectively) that its raining and dark, a big cloud, almost like Galactus (from Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer) ia approaching the airfield, fast. Even the tower reminded me to be careful. haha and all i could think of was how beautiful it was.



I've been cleared to join to land, and another view struck me.
The runway lights and the PAPI lights are lighted!
(Because its dark and the visibility is bad. But in truth the runway here in Johore is so big and long you can make it out miles away)
It was, again, a beautiful view, and i managed to snap a few pictures amist the frenzy of the tower reminding me to be careful, the preparation to land the aircraft, the winds etc. etc.



I managed to land safely, taxy the aircraft back, tie it down, walked to the flight operation room, fill up all the necessary forms, drive baack home, when, it started raining cats and dogs. nah, scratch that, it was so heavy the rain, its more like raining elephants and hippopotamus.
Luckily (thank God) i've safely landed by then and in the comfort of my own house.
Can't imagine what would have happened had i been stucked in the rain.
maybe get struck by lightning, or crashed in the hills.
that would've hurt

"Alrighty Then!"

whoa..
its been a week since my last post.. well almost..
six days is almost a week.. but not yet a week..
mostly due to the lack of activities in my life..
(oh, well i did get my heart broken, but thats another story for another time..haha)

whats been a week is the last time i flew..
so i was scheduled to fly today, the 1st sortie..
all well and good but one small problem is,
i'd have to report at 7.15.. in the morning..
a bigger problem is that i dont have a mode of transportation(long story)..
so i called our flight operation manager, Razi, for a lift since he needs to be in The Academy at the same time.. he's more like a fren, an ex-student working for The Academy while waiting to be accepted to any airlines.. and he says ok..
but there is a bigger problem..

Man Utd vs Chelsea is scheduled at 12..
and if i want to watch it, i'd have to go the Mamak stall..
and i'd have to wake up at 5.30 the next morning..
which is a bit overwhelming considering the game would finish around 2.30..



but what the hell!
i went anyway, because i had a nagging feeling Man Utd would win..
oh and win they did! emphatically too! 3-0!
the best part is mocking your frens who supported chelsea.loser.haha
(sorry any chelsea fans who might be reading this. up yours man! haha!)
anyway i got home at around 3, and couldnt sleep, still reeling from the winning feeling.
i'd have to wake up at 5.30 and i couldnt sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning. great.
fortunately i managed to force my eyes closed long enough to make it count as a sleep.
i think its about 4 o'clock that time..

i think im half asleep when i arrived..
no one else was there..
thank god its so hazy, that u couldnt see the mountain behind the airport..
i'd have to wait till it clears up before taking to the sky, so i figure i cud buy some time to sleep..
but then, Razi asked me to go fill up the tanks of the aircraft.not 1.not 2. but 4 of it.
since he's been so nice to me, there's only one thing i could say..

"Alrighty then!"




well atleast i get to take a morning walk.. i havent done that in ages..
good thing too, or if not i wouldnt be able to see the view..
it was magnificient... the sunrise, with the haze around..
i felt like im in an oil painting..
(or maybe its the fume from the oil tanker)

finished with the re-fuelling, maybe now i got the chance to sleep for awhile..
but unfortunately, i'd have to be the commander for the parade, since all other senior students are not around..great.

mother nature's not on my side today..
the haze cleared faster than i had expected..
so off i go.. today's exercise is Circuit & Landing..
and i was not reaching my full potential.. (i was awful actually)
the wind is not helping either.. it was so strong, even the Academy's flag almost got torn off..
(mother nature's got an issue with me today..hmm, maybe she's a chelsea supporter)
i did 7 landings.. 2 was bad.. 1 was extremely bad.. but did okay on the other 4 occasions..
my rewards? i'd have to report at 7.15 tomorrow, again, for another Circuit & Landing ex...
really great..

finish now, i'm raring to go back home where my bed awaits me..
luckily one of my frens sortie is delayed so he's going back..
i hopped on.. but he got other plans..

Winning Eleven 2008!


i had lost RM5 to him in an earlier match...
(owh his name is Azlan btw)
so my ego said lets take revenge!
i lost the 1st match 3-0. 3-0! its last nite's score!
so now i owe him another RM5.
my now bruised ego said, "Double or Nothing!"
luckily i won 5-2 this time. haha..
(being egoistic is bad kids, even though i prevailed in the end..)

so now,
right after i finish this entry,

finally, i'm off to bed...